Some things are so difficult to live with. The hurting that is felt for a friend is one of the worst I think. Desperately wishing you could help them somehow. Wanting so badly to save them...sometimes from themselves.
It's not our job though is it? We get so caught up sometimes in what we can do. How we can fix a situation when in reality it all has very little to do with us, if anything at all. There is only One who can truly save and He is mightier than all of us put together. It can be hard to let those we love go. To give them over to a power that we can't see or touch right in front of us...we simply know He is there. We simply trust that He will move and speak at the most perfect moment, in the most perfect way. I am deeply comforted by that fact tonight.
"I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the LORD's praise because he has been good to me." -Psalm 13:5-6
I have no doubt that He will continue to pour our His unfailing love...despite our struggles, despite our wanderings, despite our sinfulness. He has been and will be so, so good.
So tonight, I give you this hurt Lord, this worry, and anxiousness. Take it from me and replace it with Your peace. Thank you for your goodness and mercy. I love you.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Amazing Grace
Last night was The Pregnancy Care Clinic's Dessert Banquet. This is a huge fundraiser for us and there was a lot of work and stress that went into. God is awesome as always though and the whole evening was perfect!
Our speaker got to town right on time, the desserts were delicious, the decorations perfect, the songs were smooth (with the exception of a minor error on the sound person's part that didn't really affect the song...thank goodness! lol), and a little over $8,500 was raised to help support the ministry!! It was such a blessing to spend an evening recapping all that God has been doing at the PCC and all we are expecting in the future! There were so many people there to support us and overall it was just a really fun night!
My favorite part was singing Amazing Grace-My Chains Are Gone with the whole group at the very end of the evening. There is something very special about a group of people lifting their voices in worship and adoration to our Savior that brings me such joy and overwhelms my heart!
I am again reminded of what an honor and pleasure it is to work in a Christian organization surrounded by so many sisters and brothers in Christ.
I have lived in Washington for exactly one year now. There have been so many fantastic moments throughout the year. Some moments that have been really difficult as well. One truth remains though, God is in control. He has stretched me and shown me His love for me in more ways then I could have ever imagined. I am so thankful and I can't wait to see what He has for me in the year ahead!
Our speaker got to town right on time, the desserts were delicious, the decorations perfect, the songs were smooth (with the exception of a minor error on the sound person's part that didn't really affect the song...thank goodness! lol), and a little over $8,500 was raised to help support the ministry!! It was such a blessing to spend an evening recapping all that God has been doing at the PCC and all we are expecting in the future! There were so many people there to support us and overall it was just a really fun night!
My favorite part was singing Amazing Grace-My Chains Are Gone with the whole group at the very end of the evening. There is something very special about a group of people lifting their voices in worship and adoration to our Savior that brings me such joy and overwhelms my heart!
I am again reminded of what an honor and pleasure it is to work in a Christian organization surrounded by so many sisters and brothers in Christ.
I have lived in Washington for exactly one year now. There have been so many fantastic moments throughout the year. Some moments that have been really difficult as well. One truth remains though, God is in control. He has stretched me and shown me His love for me in more ways then I could have ever imagined. I am so thankful and I can't wait to see what He has for me in the year ahead!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Hello Again
To those of you who actually check to see if I've written, my deepest apologies for failing to provide anything for you! I've considered updating on several different occasions yet for one reason or another it just hasn't happened. I figured it was time though.
I have been working at my new job at the Pregnancy Care Clinic for 3 or 4 months now and I LOVE it!! I have definitely been stretched and challenged through this job but it's been so good for me and I feel like I've grown a lot. It's a lot of pressure to be "the boss" and be looked to for direction and answers. We get some very sad life stories about people facing difficulties I could never imagine going through. It's such an honor that Christ has put me in a position where I can help them, show them a Love like no other, and provide encouragement and hope in sometimes hopeless looking situations.
Other than working I've been staying involved in the Navigators Bible Study, the church worship team and choir, and our young adult small group. I've also been getting up at 5:30 to exercise at Curves each morning...go ahead, be impressed! haha! I really am enjoying it and I feel so much better throughout the day knowing I got up and accomplished something that morning that's so good for me! All of these things keep me pretty busy but life is still good.
In a month I get to travel back to IN to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone and being "home".
The difficulty of friends moving away, being on deployments, or away at school has been one of my greatest struggles these past several months. I love Amy, I love my co-workers, and I love my church family but there's just something about having those people around you who are in the same age group and stage of life that you are. It's a special thing. I've definitely been missing it and praying that God would bring me contentment in the midst of it. I know in time He will bring new people into my life that can fill that special place as others have before.
Though it can be hard to wait, I know the outcome will be so sweet and perfect in His timing so, I will spend my days singing alleluia to Yahweh.
I have been working at my new job at the Pregnancy Care Clinic for 3 or 4 months now and I LOVE it!! I have definitely been stretched and challenged through this job but it's been so good for me and I feel like I've grown a lot. It's a lot of pressure to be "the boss" and be looked to for direction and answers. We get some very sad life stories about people facing difficulties I could never imagine going through. It's such an honor that Christ has put me in a position where I can help them, show them a Love like no other, and provide encouragement and hope in sometimes hopeless looking situations.
Other than working I've been staying involved in the Navigators Bible Study, the church worship team and choir, and our young adult small group. I've also been getting up at 5:30 to exercise at Curves each morning...go ahead, be impressed! haha! I really am enjoying it and I feel so much better throughout the day knowing I got up and accomplished something that morning that's so good for me! All of these things keep me pretty busy but life is still good.
In a month I get to travel back to IN to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone and being "home".
The difficulty of friends moving away, being on deployments, or away at school has been one of my greatest struggles these past several months. I love Amy, I love my co-workers, and I love my church family but there's just something about having those people around you who are in the same age group and stage of life that you are. It's a special thing. I've definitely been missing it and praying that God would bring me contentment in the midst of it. I know in time He will bring new people into my life that can fill that special place as others have before.
Though it can be hard to wait, I know the outcome will be so sweet and perfect in His timing so, I will spend my days singing alleluia to Yahweh.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The Learning Process
God has been encouraging and asking me to love and trust Him more and myself and my desires less. I wish this was easy for me. I let myself get so caught up in how I hope things will be that I begin to forget that it is not my responsibility to even think about it. Could I possibly form a better future for myself than what the Creator of the heavens and the earth has planned for me?? The path that has brought me here has not been an easy one-partially because of my own stubbornness and pride and partially because God does not promise that things will always be easy. How would we ever learn to depend on Him without those difficult times? He has taught me so much through both the joys and the sufferings. I wouldn’t trade a moment of any of it. So now it continues…the learning process, growth, trust. May my spirit be willing and my heart be solely focused on the One to whom it belongs.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Late Night Thinking Leads To Confused Ranting
Have you ever wanted to write about something but you didn't know how to put it it a way that wouldn't make people ask you a thousand questions or start suspecting something about you that may or may not be true? Or that you at least don't really want people talking about because it's not really that exciting in reality anyway it's just something that excites you even though there's probably no reason for it too?? Have I completely lost you and compelled you to do exactly that which I am writing in hopes of people not doing??
*SIGH*
Maybe I should just go to bed and keep all thoughts to myself...
And so, Goodnight :]
*SIGH*
Maybe I should just go to bed and keep all thoughts to myself...
And so, Goodnight :]
Saturday, May 29, 2010
I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!!
God is so good and has overwhelmed me once again with His blessing and provision! After interviewing at the Pregnancy Care Clinic almost 2 weeks ago I was beginning to wonder if I would ever hear from them and if it could possibly be good news when I did. Friday I got the call that they wanted to offer me a position as the Human Resources Director. (or something like that…I can never remember the official job title!) This was so exciting because it wasn’t even the job I had originally interviewed for. After talking with the employer she thought I would be perfect for the position so she had me talk to the current human resources director to get a feel for what the job is and to see if I would be interested in it. Apparently this lady thought I would be perfect for the position as well and they are excited to have me on board!!
The Pregnancy Care Clinic is a non-profit organization here in Oak Harbor. My employer goes to my church and she is an amazing woman with a beautiful passion for this ministry. I am so excited about the opportunity to work with her and so many other Christian women that have a deep love for the Lord and care and compassion for the women that come to the clinic for help and guidance. The clinic does not recommend or endorse abortion in anyway. We are pro-life all the way! (just thought I better put that disclaimer in there)
My job will include being in charge of all the volunteers—training them and helping them with any problems, as well as looking through volunteer applications to find some more wonderful people to help us out--teaching parenting classes, helping with pregnancy tests and ultrasounds, doing some minor counseling work with young women/couples, and setting up seminars every couple months to help the volunteers (and myself) keep up on the last issues, laws, and advances in various pregnancy related issues. (i.e.: adoption, abortion, pregnancy heath, etc.)
To celebrate Amy, Miriah, Stephen, and I went out to Applebee’s for dinner and had quite a lovely time…at least I thought so! There were some serious moments but mostly lots of laughing and poking fun at one another. Amy’s face must have been tired because she had to stretch it and I laughed so hard I cried. I love my friends. Thank you for celebrating with me and for bringing so much joy into my life!!!
The other exciting thing right now is that my parents are, at this very moment, on a plane traveling to Oak Harbor to visit me for a week. They should be landing in a couple hours and I’m pretty excited! I got the house all cleaned up for them and it’s so great that we’ll all get to celebrate together! It will be so fun to show them around the island and help them understand why I love it here so much. Hopefully the rain will stop and the sunshine and mountains will come back into view while they are here. I’d hate for them to miss those beautiful sites! I have Monday and Wednesday of work, which makes their visit even more spectacular. I’m hoping we have a great time together…this is such a new season of life for all of us. It will be interesting to see how that affects our relationship. I think it will better it honestly. Time will tell.
So, until next time my friends and avid readers, blessings. :D
The Pregnancy Care Clinic is a non-profit organization here in Oak Harbor. My employer goes to my church and she is an amazing woman with a beautiful passion for this ministry. I am so excited about the opportunity to work with her and so many other Christian women that have a deep love for the Lord and care and compassion for the women that come to the clinic for help and guidance. The clinic does not recommend or endorse abortion in anyway. We are pro-life all the way! (just thought I better put that disclaimer in there)
My job will include being in charge of all the volunteers—training them and helping them with any problems, as well as looking through volunteer applications to find some more wonderful people to help us out--teaching parenting classes, helping with pregnancy tests and ultrasounds, doing some minor counseling work with young women/couples, and setting up seminars every couple months to help the volunteers (and myself) keep up on the last issues, laws, and advances in various pregnancy related issues. (i.e.: adoption, abortion, pregnancy heath, etc.)
To celebrate Amy, Miriah, Stephen, and I went out to Applebee’s for dinner and had quite a lovely time…at least I thought so! There were some serious moments but mostly lots of laughing and poking fun at one another. Amy’s face must have been tired because she had to stretch it and I laughed so hard I cried. I love my friends. Thank you for celebrating with me and for bringing so much joy into my life!!!
The other exciting thing right now is that my parents are, at this very moment, on a plane traveling to Oak Harbor to visit me for a week. They should be landing in a couple hours and I’m pretty excited! I got the house all cleaned up for them and it’s so great that we’ll all get to celebrate together! It will be so fun to show them around the island and help them understand why I love it here so much. Hopefully the rain will stop and the sunshine and mountains will come back into view while they are here. I’d hate for them to miss those beautiful sites! I have Monday and Wednesday of work, which makes their visit even more spectacular. I’m hoping we have a great time together…this is such a new season of life for all of us. It will be interesting to see how that affects our relationship. I think it will better it honestly. Time will tell.
So, until next time my friends and avid readers, blessings. :D
Friday, May 21, 2010
And So It Goes
It would take too long to go through the craziness of my life from the past month so here's some highlights :)
*The Bethel Concert Choir came to our town and sang at our church. What a blessing and pleasure it was to see so many old friends and hear such beautiful music! I am so glad they were able to come and that our church responded so positively to the whole thing!
*My job has been a constant up and down ride. Overall, I really hate it. God has recently blessed me with some wonderful clients that make my job so much more pleasant than it once was but I'm still not getting many hours which means I'm not making much money.
*On the upside of the job stuff...I had an interview with the Pregnancy Care Clinic this past week for either their Administrative Assistant position or their Career Services Director position and am hoping and praying that they hire me for one of them! Time will tell...my prayer is that I would have peace about whatever decision is made and that I will remember that it is God's plan for my life that rules, not my plan.
*Two of my good friends and brothers in Christ left for deployments this week. I already miss them. I saw a bakery the other day and heard a song that instantly made me think of Nick. I got a hangnail today and automatically thought of Timothy. (haha ;) When these little things bring my friends to mind I try to make sure I stop to say a little prayer for them. I figure they are coming to mind for a reason. :]
*My parents will be here a week from tomorrow. Weird. Crazy. Exciting. I hope we have great weather and that they are able to see why I love it so much here. I wish Erin could come with them...maybe next time... :)
*I am struggling to wait patiently for love. And too often I fear that it will simply never happen for me. There. I said it. Prayer would be greatly appreciated as I work on allowing God to fill every part of me and trusting that He can and will provide for all my needs.
*I can feel that life is changing. I don't exactly know what that means or where it will take me next. Part of me is excited. The other part is nervous. Again...trusting Him to work it all out...
*One of my best friends will be having her second child in a month. The other has entered into a new and exciting time in her life. I'm so happy for both of them and I love them both so much. God has truly blessed me in the friend department!
*That last sentence goes for all my friends. They're literally all over the world now and I love each of them so much and for so many different reasons. Isn't it so fun to think about the various ways God brings people together and forms relationships?? It's amazing when you think about it...
*I'm so glad I serve a God who care about every detail, no matter how small it may be
*The Bethel Concert Choir came to our town and sang at our church. What a blessing and pleasure it was to see so many old friends and hear such beautiful music! I am so glad they were able to come and that our church responded so positively to the whole thing!
*My job has been a constant up and down ride. Overall, I really hate it. God has recently blessed me with some wonderful clients that make my job so much more pleasant than it once was but I'm still not getting many hours which means I'm not making much money.
*On the upside of the job stuff...I had an interview with the Pregnancy Care Clinic this past week for either their Administrative Assistant position or their Career Services Director position and am hoping and praying that they hire me for one of them! Time will tell...my prayer is that I would have peace about whatever decision is made and that I will remember that it is God's plan for my life that rules, not my plan.
*Two of my good friends and brothers in Christ left for deployments this week. I already miss them. I saw a bakery the other day and heard a song that instantly made me think of Nick. I got a hangnail today and automatically thought of Timothy. (haha ;) When these little things bring my friends to mind I try to make sure I stop to say a little prayer for them. I figure they are coming to mind for a reason. :]
*My parents will be here a week from tomorrow. Weird. Crazy. Exciting. I hope we have great weather and that they are able to see why I love it so much here. I wish Erin could come with them...maybe next time... :)
*I am struggling to wait patiently for love. And too often I fear that it will simply never happen for me. There. I said it. Prayer would be greatly appreciated as I work on allowing God to fill every part of me and trusting that He can and will provide for all my needs.
*I can feel that life is changing. I don't exactly know what that means or where it will take me next. Part of me is excited. The other part is nervous. Again...trusting Him to work it all out...
*One of my best friends will be having her second child in a month. The other has entered into a new and exciting time in her life. I'm so happy for both of them and I love them both so much. God has truly blessed me in the friend department!
*That last sentence goes for all my friends. They're literally all over the world now and I love each of them so much and for so many different reasons. Isn't it so fun to think about the various ways God brings people together and forms relationships?? It's amazing when you think about it...
*I'm so glad I serve a God who care about every detail, no matter how small it may be
Saturday, April 10, 2010
I really like spending time with friends. Tonight Amy and I have several people over. We cooked a bunch of yummy breakfast foods for dinner and we all sat around the big table just talking and laughing and making fun of each other. It's been awhile since we've done anything like this and I've found it refreshing to be with people. I love Amy and I love hanging out with her but I really do find a special joy in spending time with the group. Tonight a few newer people came and it's been nice to get to know them better too. Overall, it's just been a really good day. :)
Tomorrow Amy and I are singing a duet at church. It'll be the first time we've ever sung together so I'm pretty excited...hopefully I'll remember all the words! haha...it should be wonderful and I think people at our church will like it. We'll also be making an announcement about the Bethel choir coming to our church! I really hope people get excited and offer to host students for us!
Ok...this post is boring and people are hovering so I'm gonna stop...:)
Tomorrow Amy and I are singing a duet at church. It'll be the first time we've ever sung together so I'm pretty excited...hopefully I'll remember all the words! haha...it should be wonderful and I think people at our church will like it. We'll also be making an announcement about the Bethel choir coming to our church! I really hope people get excited and offer to host students for us!
Ok...this post is boring and people are hovering so I'm gonna stop...:)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Psalm 28:7
I don't want to say much. My heart hurts. My soul cries out for comfort and rest in the midst of confusion and pain. I sleep but I find no rest. Dreams haunt me and startle me from my slumber. I find no peace in closing my eyes. I seek joy and a stillness for my weary soul and ask that God "restore to me the joy of my salvation." There is so much to be thankful for, especially this week...Easter...when Jesus died so that I might have life.
Help me God to not be consumed by the evil one and his plots against me. Surround me with your love and the remembrance of your sacrifice. You are my strength and my shield; my heart trust in you, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to you. This is my humble prayer...
Help me God to not be consumed by the evil one and his plots against me. Surround me with your love and the remembrance of your sacrifice. You are my strength and my shield; my heart trust in you, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to you. This is my humble prayer...
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Boundaries
Boys. Girls. Friendship. Relationship. Confusion. Frustration. Joy. Wonderfulness. Exhaustion.
haha...so what you're probably thinking now is "Sara's got boy issues!" and you're right, though probably not in the way you think. There is no "special someone" in my life right now nor the hopes or possibilities for that at the moment. I am however finding myself confused and often frustrated in my friendships with males. There have to be boundaries to keep our hearts pure and prepared for the one God has for us. However, how far must those boundaries go? Are there certain situations where I can step beyond a normal boundary to connect with someone new and learn about them without it appearing that I am interested or pursuing a relationship beyond friendship with them?
A good, recent example is that there are a few new guys coming to the Pier. They've only been there a few times now but they mentioned really wanting Christian fellowship. Amy and I instantly thought "We should invite them to hang out with us and our group of friends sometime." BUT for this to happen we would need to ask them for their phone numbers and that seems like a step beyond the boundaries or a situation where our motives could be brought into question.
So what should we do? Ask for their numbers and hope they know we don't mean anything more by it? Pretend like we never heard them say that and continue hanging out with the friends we have, never really reaching out to them? Wait until one of our guy friends is around and have him get their numbers so he can do the inviting?
The problem with #1 is that I feel like Amy and I have been questioned, or challenged may be a better way of putting it, to make sure our motives are always pure and that what we are doing won't distract ourselves or others from God. Though Amy and I know our motives are pure, will others stray or become concerned because they see it differently? The problem with #2 is that it goes against our nature to not reach out and befriend new people. We just can't do it and it's a terrible way for the Pier to act as a whole. If people want to get more involved we should make sure that can happen for them, not turn them away. The problem with #3 is that, for the most part, our guy friends aren't really around anymore. Several of the guys are gone for one reason or another. Some are away at school. Others are preparing for upcoming deployments and then there are some guys that just haven’t really been around the Pier lately in general and honestly from what I’ve seen, probably wouldn’t be super comfortable in this kind of situation anyway.
So where does this leave us? I feel like both Amy and I have been put in positions of leadership at the Pier, which we love and enjoy, but we feel restricted when it comes to inviting new people we see at church or taking extra steps to reach out to new people that are coming. Why? Because most of those people are male.
For the most part Amy and I have come to the conclusion that we should reach out to people, male and female, and let the chips fall where they may. My apologies in advance if anyone sees our actions as unwise or stepping over boundaries but I refuse to let possible friendships slip by me because that person happens to be of the opposite sex. Even more importantly, I refuse to deny people opportunities to meet and fellowship with other Christians simply because there are no boys present at the time to invite them along. Jesus invited both males and females to hang out and fellowship with him, so why shouldn’t I? :)
*As I reread this I realized it might have come off a little hostile. That’s not the way I meant it. This is just something that has been frustrating me because I just so desperately want to befriend people and make them feel welcome and I hate feeling like I can’t or shouldn’t do that simply because they are guys. I hope that makes sense… :)
haha...so what you're probably thinking now is "Sara's got boy issues!" and you're right, though probably not in the way you think. There is no "special someone" in my life right now nor the hopes or possibilities for that at the moment. I am however finding myself confused and often frustrated in my friendships with males. There have to be boundaries to keep our hearts pure and prepared for the one God has for us. However, how far must those boundaries go? Are there certain situations where I can step beyond a normal boundary to connect with someone new and learn about them without it appearing that I am interested or pursuing a relationship beyond friendship with them?
A good, recent example is that there are a few new guys coming to the Pier. They've only been there a few times now but they mentioned really wanting Christian fellowship. Amy and I instantly thought "We should invite them to hang out with us and our group of friends sometime." BUT for this to happen we would need to ask them for their phone numbers and that seems like a step beyond the boundaries or a situation where our motives could be brought into question.
So what should we do? Ask for their numbers and hope they know we don't mean anything more by it? Pretend like we never heard them say that and continue hanging out with the friends we have, never really reaching out to them? Wait until one of our guy friends is around and have him get their numbers so he can do the inviting?
The problem with #1 is that I feel like Amy and I have been questioned, or challenged may be a better way of putting it, to make sure our motives are always pure and that what we are doing won't distract ourselves or others from God. Though Amy and I know our motives are pure, will others stray or become concerned because they see it differently? The problem with #2 is that it goes against our nature to not reach out and befriend new people. We just can't do it and it's a terrible way for the Pier to act as a whole. If people want to get more involved we should make sure that can happen for them, not turn them away. The problem with #3 is that, for the most part, our guy friends aren't really around anymore. Several of the guys are gone for one reason or another. Some are away at school. Others are preparing for upcoming deployments and then there are some guys that just haven’t really been around the Pier lately in general and honestly from what I’ve seen, probably wouldn’t be super comfortable in this kind of situation anyway.
So where does this leave us? I feel like both Amy and I have been put in positions of leadership at the Pier, which we love and enjoy, but we feel restricted when it comes to inviting new people we see at church or taking extra steps to reach out to new people that are coming. Why? Because most of those people are male.
For the most part Amy and I have come to the conclusion that we should reach out to people, male and female, and let the chips fall where they may. My apologies in advance if anyone sees our actions as unwise or stepping over boundaries but I refuse to let possible friendships slip by me because that person happens to be of the opposite sex. Even more importantly, I refuse to deny people opportunities to meet and fellowship with other Christians simply because there are no boys present at the time to invite them along. Jesus invited both males and females to hang out and fellowship with him, so why shouldn’t I? :)
*As I reread this I realized it might have come off a little hostile. That’s not the way I meant it. This is just something that has been frustrating me because I just so desperately want to befriend people and make them feel welcome and I hate feeling like I can’t or shouldn’t do that simply because they are guys. I hope that makes sense… :)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Goals
I've been thinking about things in my life that I have been wanting to work on but that I kept coming up with excuses to avoid. Well no more. It's time to step up, face facts, and do the work to accomplish these things. Today I sat down and set up some goals that I would like to reach. Some have specific time periods. Others are simply things I'd like to be consistently working on. I figured to keep myself a little more accountable I would post them here.
1) Spending time in scripture and prayer each day. This is something I have always struggled with and know I need to make a part of my daily life.
2) Exercise/Lose weight. Again, something I've always seemed to struggle with and it's hard for me (embarrassing really) to admit here how desperately I need to work on this. That being said, it's time to take hold of this issue and conquer it. This one might be the most difficult one for me but I know I will be so proud of myself and I'm sure happier and definitely healthier once I reach it.
3) Going along with the previous goal, I want to start eating healthier. No more snacking (or choosing to snack on healthy things like fruit... :) and cutting down on pop and other sinful delights I often allow myself to have. I'm not helping myself or my body by filling it with these things.
4) Find something in the community to be involved in. I would really love to find a choir to be part of or a volunteer-type ministry. I'd really like to reach out to those around me, get to know some different people, and serve Christ. This one may take some time to get started since I don't have a set work schedule yet but I'm excited to start looking into it.
So there it is. That's what I've come up with so far. I would love your support and prayer as I try to reach these goals! :)
1) Spending time in scripture and prayer each day. This is something I have always struggled with and know I need to make a part of my daily life.
2) Exercise/Lose weight. Again, something I've always seemed to struggle with and it's hard for me (embarrassing really) to admit here how desperately I need to work on this. That being said, it's time to take hold of this issue and conquer it. This one might be the most difficult one for me but I know I will be so proud of myself and I'm sure happier and definitely healthier once I reach it.
3) Going along with the previous goal, I want to start eating healthier. No more snacking (or choosing to snack on healthy things like fruit... :) and cutting down on pop and other sinful delights I often allow myself to have. I'm not helping myself or my body by filling it with these things.
4) Find something in the community to be involved in. I would really love to find a choir to be part of or a volunteer-type ministry. I'd really like to reach out to those around me, get to know some different people, and serve Christ. This one may take some time to get started since I don't have a set work schedule yet but I'm excited to start looking into it.
So there it is. That's what I've come up with so far. I would love your support and prayer as I try to reach these goals! :)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Crazy Love
To even try and summarize all that has happened in my life would be overwhelming at this point. Life, as usual, has been a constant stream of ups and downs that are challenging me to confront various issues in my life and ultimately bring me closer to God.
To be quite frank all of this has frightened me as I've come to many realizations about myself and about my relationship with God. The most rattling one being that I don't know how to accept God's love. I know that I love Him and desire to serve Him with all I am but when it comes to accepting love and joy from him I feel so unworthy and I've realized that I am so filled with lies that I keep an arms length away from it. Scary. If I can't truly accept God's love how can I accept love from others? At first, these thoughts sent me spiraling and I thought I was doomed. Too screwed up to try and figure things out with God now. Thankfully I have really amazing people in my life that don't allow me to entertain those types of thoughts for long.
After seeking wise counsel from others and from scripture and prayer I am feeling better but I know I have a long road ahead of me. I've been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it's pretty amazing stuff. Stuff I need to hear and apply to my life. Stuff that is hard but true and good.
Chan writes, "This is the God we serve, the God who knew us before He made us. The God who promises to remain with us and rescue us. The God who loves us and longs for us to love Him back...The greatest knowledge we can ever have is knowing God treasures us. That really is amazing beyond description. The holy Creator sees you as His 'glorious inheritance'...God wants us to trust Him with abandon. He wants to show us how He works and cares for us. He wants to be our refuge."
My prayer is that these become truths in my life. Not just things I know but things I am able to understand and accept with all that is within me. There is a song by Spur58 called "Restore Unto Me" which says...
"Restore unto me the joy of who You are. Restore unto me the joy of who You are. You are my God. You are my life. I find myself in You. You are my God. You are my life. I find myself in You. In You."
May this be the cry of my heart...
To be quite frank all of this has frightened me as I've come to many realizations about myself and about my relationship with God. The most rattling one being that I don't know how to accept God's love. I know that I love Him and desire to serve Him with all I am but when it comes to accepting love and joy from him I feel so unworthy and I've realized that I am so filled with lies that I keep an arms length away from it. Scary. If I can't truly accept God's love how can I accept love from others? At first, these thoughts sent me spiraling and I thought I was doomed. Too screwed up to try and figure things out with God now. Thankfully I have really amazing people in my life that don't allow me to entertain those types of thoughts for long.
After seeking wise counsel from others and from scripture and prayer I am feeling better but I know I have a long road ahead of me. I've been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it's pretty amazing stuff. Stuff I need to hear and apply to my life. Stuff that is hard but true and good.
Chan writes, "This is the God we serve, the God who knew us before He made us. The God who promises to remain with us and rescue us. The God who loves us and longs for us to love Him back...The greatest knowledge we can ever have is knowing God treasures us. That really is amazing beyond description. The holy Creator sees you as His 'glorious inheritance'...God wants us to trust Him with abandon. He wants to show us how He works and cares for us. He wants to be our refuge."
My prayer is that these become truths in my life. Not just things I know but things I am able to understand and accept with all that is within me. There is a song by Spur58 called "Restore Unto Me" which says...
"Restore unto me the joy of who You are. Restore unto me the joy of who You are. You are my God. You are my life. I find myself in You. You are my God. You are my life. I find myself in You. In You."
May this be the cry of my heart...
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
It's Tim's Birthday!!
Today was my first day of orientation for my new job and all went well! But that's a story for another day.
The most important thing about today is that it is Tim's birthday! I just got home from a lovely party where I hope he felt loved, appreciated, and deeply cared about. Many of his friends and family were there to celebrate the big 2-1...haha :) We ate...a lot...watched as a pinata was mutilated by a little girl, stood around a lovely campfire, watched Tim open his various gifts, and played the Wii (of course!) There were many hugs and so many people whose company I enjoy that it would have been impossible for me to have a bad time. God really has placed some amazing people here in Oak Harbor and I'm so glad He's allowing me to get to know them better.
So Timothy, for the year ahead, I wish you peace and joy, unexpected adventure, and a crazy love that goes even farther beyond what you know, coming straight from the One who made you into being. We're all so thankful for you! I love you my friend and brother! :)
The most important thing about today is that it is Tim's birthday! I just got home from a lovely party where I hope he felt loved, appreciated, and deeply cared about. Many of his friends and family were there to celebrate the big 2-1...haha :) We ate...a lot...watched as a pinata was mutilated by a little girl, stood around a lovely campfire, watched Tim open his various gifts, and played the Wii (of course!) There were many hugs and so many people whose company I enjoy that it would have been impossible for me to have a bad time. God really has placed some amazing people here in Oak Harbor and I'm so glad He's allowing me to get to know them better.
So Timothy, for the year ahead, I wish you peace and joy, unexpected adventure, and a crazy love that goes even farther beyond what you know, coming straight from the One who made you into being. We're all so thankful for you! I love you my friend and brother! :)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Trust
After 4 months of waiting (mostly impatiently I'll admit) God has finally opened up the door for me to start working! I will be working for an organization called Visiting Nurse Home Care. They work with elderly and disabled individuals in their homes, much like my job in Indiana. I don't have many details yet but I have orientation next Tuesday so I will try to fill in the gaps after that!
I could hardly believe it when I received the call last Thursday for an interview with the company. The reason this was all so unbelievable was the timing of the call.
Just the night before God and I had one, in a series of many difficult discussions, about where I tend to place my trust and how that affects the rest of my life. To my surprise the words "I'm so afraid to put all my trust in you" came out of my mouth. I've realized in recent months that it is difficult for me to put all my trust in God but I hadn't realized that even the idea of it scared me. As I continued to talk this through with him I came to the conclusion that I too often place God on the same level as everyone else in my life, including many who have shown me I can't trust them or really depend on them. Deep down, I've been assuming and expecting God to do the same if I handed everything over to him. What an earth-shattering realization.
These thoughts spiraled me into so many questions about my relationship with God and what this meant for me as a Christian. It was so difficult to realize I've been pushing away the ONLY one I can trust with EVERYTHING. I have wonderful friends who I know care for me and are here for me but there are some things that only God can handle and I must refocus my eyes and heart on Him. As I asked his forgiveness for my foolish thoughts and actions I felt a great release. "Peace and joy can be yours when you rest in me" is the message I felt being spoken to my heart along with a resounding promise of "I will never leave you or forsake and I love you."
For awhile at least, I expect that I will daily have to remind myself where my trust belongs but I believe in time, it will become more natural. God has provided so much for me in the midst of searching for a full time job, including small jobs here and there to provide for my basic needs. I am so thankful as I look back and see all he has done.
I need you Jesus to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by which I am save
Capture me with grace
I will follow you.
I could hardly believe it when I received the call last Thursday for an interview with the company. The reason this was all so unbelievable was the timing of the call.
Just the night before God and I had one, in a series of many difficult discussions, about where I tend to place my trust and how that affects the rest of my life. To my surprise the words "I'm so afraid to put all my trust in you" came out of my mouth. I've realized in recent months that it is difficult for me to put all my trust in God but I hadn't realized that even the idea of it scared me. As I continued to talk this through with him I came to the conclusion that I too often place God on the same level as everyone else in my life, including many who have shown me I can't trust them or really depend on them. Deep down, I've been assuming and expecting God to do the same if I handed everything over to him. What an earth-shattering realization.
These thoughts spiraled me into so many questions about my relationship with God and what this meant for me as a Christian. It was so difficult to realize I've been pushing away the ONLY one I can trust with EVERYTHING. I have wonderful friends who I know care for me and are here for me but there are some things that only God can handle and I must refocus my eyes and heart on Him. As I asked his forgiveness for my foolish thoughts and actions I felt a great release. "Peace and joy can be yours when you rest in me" is the message I felt being spoken to my heart along with a resounding promise of "I will never leave you or forsake and I love you."
For awhile at least, I expect that I will daily have to remind myself where my trust belongs but I believe in time, it will become more natural. God has provided so much for me in the midst of searching for a full time job, including small jobs here and there to provide for my basic needs. I am so thankful as I look back and see all he has done.
I need you Jesus to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by which I am save
Capture me with grace
I will follow you.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Just A Few Things
I'm tired so this will be short and sweet.
1. I have really amazing friends. I love and appreciate each one of them so very much. I hope they know that.
2. Battles I thought were over are now raging again. Small visions that lead to big ideas are bad for my heart. I think the battle will cease once again with time but I'm frustrated that I am weak enough for it to began again in the first place.
3. We have four pet fish at our house now thanks to Amy's birthday. Their names are: Gilbert, Alexandro, Cordelia, and Bo-Ski-Bo (Bo for short). Not quite as friendly as a dog or cat but at least I'll have someone to talk to during the day. ;)
There is a lot more going on but it will have to wait for a time when I can coherently unjumble all the thoughts swimming around my mind. So my friends,
Goodnight. :)
1. I have really amazing friends. I love and appreciate each one of them so very much. I hope they know that.
2. Battles I thought were over are now raging again. Small visions that lead to big ideas are bad for my heart. I think the battle will cease once again with time but I'm frustrated that I am weak enough for it to began again in the first place.
3. We have four pet fish at our house now thanks to Amy's birthday. Their names are: Gilbert, Alexandro, Cordelia, and Bo-Ski-Bo (Bo for short). Not quite as friendly as a dog or cat but at least I'll have someone to talk to during the day. ;)
There is a lot more going on but it will have to wait for a time when I can coherently unjumble all the thoughts swimming around my mind. So my friends,
Goodnight. :)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Substance
I want relationships with substance, depth, honesty. In days long past I found no difficulty in forming relationships with people that had these things. Here, now, at this stage of life I find it a constant struggle. My personality is one which yearns for, and almost feels incomplete without, deep, personal relationships. Yes, I have friends and they are wonderful BUT beyond the basic surface level conversational pieces I feel like I know nothing about them. I couldn't tell you what's really going on in their lives and what's begun to bother me more is that I have no idea how to encourage or pray for them. How am I, as your friend and sister in Christ supposed to lift you up if I don't really know you?
At Bethel forming close relationships happened quickly. We were all new to the college scene and we bonded immediately through this shared season of life we were all entering into. I'm pretty sure it wasn't more than a week before we had all begun pouring our hearts out to one another. I realize that college life is much different than "real world" life. In college we were all together, all the time. Even when we all had jobs they were on campus and we saw each other throughout the day, at dinner, or during late-night walks around the ponds.
Now I am in this new season of life. Everyone has separate jobs. We all live away from each other. There are limited options of places to go or things to do. Personal conversations don't happen in group settings. That's ok. I've adjusted to that fact. Still, I wish there were opportunities for me to talk to and get to know people better.
The problem I'm running into is that I have no idea how to make this happen. Part of the difficulty is that several people that I've come to care about and wish to know better are males and although I wouldn't mind more personal conversation I fear that they would. Also, many of my friends are in the Navy and will be deployed or finishing up their time even within the next month or so. This puts a major time crunch on the whole thing and I don't know if any of them care to go deeper when they know they're leaving. I just know I wouldn't mind it. There are some ladies here I would also like to get to know better. I admit I feel like it would be simpler to know the ladies, it's just a matter of all of us making the time and getting together.
So, are relationships with substance a possibility or just wishful thinking on my part? Can I ask you to join me for coffee or a relaxing walk with the understanding that the conversation may go beyond surface level? (and I feel I should clarify, I don't want to sit down with people and have this awkward "Tell me your deepest secrets" conversation. I just want to be able to go deeper naturally without feeling like we're all stopping it from getting too personal.)
So that's what's been on my heart and mind lately. I want to know you. I want to be able to encourage and lift you up. I want you to know that you can be honest with me and that I care enough about you to listen to what's going on in your life. To me, friendship, any relationship really, needs to be more than surface level, but if that's all you are able to give me, then I'll take it and I'll love you for what you are able to share.
At Bethel forming close relationships happened quickly. We were all new to the college scene and we bonded immediately through this shared season of life we were all entering into. I'm pretty sure it wasn't more than a week before we had all begun pouring our hearts out to one another. I realize that college life is much different than "real world" life. In college we were all together, all the time. Even when we all had jobs they were on campus and we saw each other throughout the day, at dinner, or during late-night walks around the ponds.
Now I am in this new season of life. Everyone has separate jobs. We all live away from each other. There are limited options of places to go or things to do. Personal conversations don't happen in group settings. That's ok. I've adjusted to that fact. Still, I wish there were opportunities for me to talk to and get to know people better.
The problem I'm running into is that I have no idea how to make this happen. Part of the difficulty is that several people that I've come to care about and wish to know better are males and although I wouldn't mind more personal conversation I fear that they would. Also, many of my friends are in the Navy and will be deployed or finishing up their time even within the next month or so. This puts a major time crunch on the whole thing and I don't know if any of them care to go deeper when they know they're leaving. I just know I wouldn't mind it. There are some ladies here I would also like to get to know better. I admit I feel like it would be simpler to know the ladies, it's just a matter of all of us making the time and getting together.
So, are relationships with substance a possibility or just wishful thinking on my part? Can I ask you to join me for coffee or a relaxing walk with the understanding that the conversation may go beyond surface level? (and I feel I should clarify, I don't want to sit down with people and have this awkward "Tell me your deepest secrets" conversation. I just want to be able to go deeper naturally without feeling like we're all stopping it from getting too personal.)
So that's what's been on my heart and mind lately. I want to know you. I want to be able to encourage and lift you up. I want you to know that you can be honest with me and that I care enough about you to listen to what's going on in your life. To me, friendship, any relationship really, needs to be more than surface level, but if that's all you are able to give me, then I'll take it and I'll love you for what you are able to share.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
ESFJ-The Caregiver
So I took one of those personality type tests awhile back and this was my result! What do you think? Right or wrong? For more on my personality or yours you can visit http://www.personalitypage.com/high-level.html
The Caregiver
As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.
ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.
The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.
ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.
With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.
All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controlling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.
ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.
ESFJs as Friends
Although the ESFJ usually puts their family in front of their friends, they do place a lot of importance on their close friendships, and feel tremendous loyalty towards their friends. Since they feel tremendous pressure in their lives to constantly "do their duty", they may sometimes turn their friendships into another task or responsibility. Usually, however, they get a lot of enjoyment from their friendships, and give back a lot of affirming warmth.
There are a couple of ESFJ tendencies which may cause problems with their casual and intimate friendships: 1) they don't give things freely - they expect something in return, and 2) they have a difficult time believing anything bad about someone close to them.
ESFJs are valued by others for their genuine interest in people, and for their warmth and kind-heartedness. They have a special skill at seeing the best in others, and making people feel good about themselves. As such, they usually have a relatively large number of very close friends, usually of all different personality types.
ESFJs are likely to have well-furnished, orderly and attractive homes. They are usually excellents hosts and hostesses, and enjoy throwing parties and having a good time. They like to feel as if they belong to traditions and institutions, and are likely to have a relatively large group of people which they include in their social circles.
The Caregiver
As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.
ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.
The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.
ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.
With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.
All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controlling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.
ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.
ESFJs as Friends
Although the ESFJ usually puts their family in front of their friends, they do place a lot of importance on their close friendships, and feel tremendous loyalty towards their friends. Since they feel tremendous pressure in their lives to constantly "do their duty", they may sometimes turn their friendships into another task or responsibility. Usually, however, they get a lot of enjoyment from their friendships, and give back a lot of affirming warmth.
There are a couple of ESFJ tendencies which may cause problems with their casual and intimate friendships: 1) they don't give things freely - they expect something in return, and 2) they have a difficult time believing anything bad about someone close to them.
ESFJs are valued by others for their genuine interest in people, and for their warmth and kind-heartedness. They have a special skill at seeing the best in others, and making people feel good about themselves. As such, they usually have a relatively large number of very close friends, usually of all different personality types.
ESFJs are likely to have well-furnished, orderly and attractive homes. They are usually excellents hosts and hostesses, and enjoy throwing parties and having a good time. They like to feel as if they belong to traditions and institutions, and are likely to have a relatively large group of people which they include in their social circles.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
There Ya Go!
Today Matt, Amy, and I went to Seattle to go to the IKEA store and buy an armour for Amy and I's room. Hmm..I suppose I haven't mentioned why Amy and I will be sharing a room yet. Basically Matt's daughter Mandy is supposed to be coming out to live with us. Things are complicated and not yet definite so I'll just have to keep ya'll posted about that one as the details get worked out!
Anyway, back to my story! On the way out of Oak Harbor we stopped at a gas station. Matt offered to get us something to eat and/or drink so we all started walking toward the station. We noticed that there were two vehicles with very nicely dressed people in them. "How fun!" we thought...just then a nicely dressed young man walked out of the station and Amy holds her hand out and says, "There ya go Sara!" The young man's eyebrows went up and I gasped and stared at Amy with wide-eyed wonder that she would say something so bluntly right in front of a person! We get into the station and Amy wants to know what I'm so upset about so I explained that I didn't appreciate her proclaiming that I might be interested in someone, especially right in front of him! She gasps and finally explains that she was talking about a "help wanted" sign in the window! Unfortunately Matt and I, and I'm afraid this young man as well, all thought she was talking about something very different! haha!
There will never be a dull moment in my life with Amy around... :)
Anyway, back to my story! On the way out of Oak Harbor we stopped at a gas station. Matt offered to get us something to eat and/or drink so we all started walking toward the station. We noticed that there were two vehicles with very nicely dressed people in them. "How fun!" we thought...just then a nicely dressed young man walked out of the station and Amy holds her hand out and says, "There ya go Sara!" The young man's eyebrows went up and I gasped and stared at Amy with wide-eyed wonder that she would say something so bluntly right in front of a person! We get into the station and Amy wants to know what I'm so upset about so I explained that I didn't appreciate her proclaiming that I might be interested in someone, especially right in front of him! She gasps and finally explains that she was talking about a "help wanted" sign in the window! Unfortunately Matt and I, and I'm afraid this young man as well, all thought she was talking about something very different! haha!
There will never be a dull moment in my life with Amy around... :)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I thought there was a lot I wanted to say but I'll sum it all up with this...I don't understand most things happening in my life right now. Despite my best efforts to avoid it, I'm really angry about most of those things. I feel alone and like no one gets where I'm coming from. I feel like a selfish jerk for the above-mentioned things. The end.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Life has kind of turned upside-down in our household lately. It's not really bad stuff...overwhelming, unexpected at this time...but not bad. It's more of a family issue but because I live here it has quickly become my issue as well. I'm struggling with how to handle it exactly. I'm finding myself to be selfish in most of my thoughts. Nervous and unsure in the rest. I'm trying to remember to be still and rest upon God's peace. My God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He knows the situation better than any of us and will give us the wisdom we need to deal with any issues that arise along the way.
God, make me strong.
God, make me strong.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Be Still
I am filled with the overwhelming peace of the Holy Spirit tonight. Amy and I just spent a couple hours sitting on the couch talking about our lives and the various joys and struggles alike we are both dealing with. We also talked about our friends and our hopes, fears, and prayers for them. Then we took time to pray together for the various things we discussed. It was so good.
I am so thankful that God has given us a friendship that allows our hearts to connect and understand the core of the other person. We never have to hold back or guard ourselves from the other. I truly believe everyone should have at least one person that they can be that way with. I love times when I can sit with friends and talk honestly about what's going on-not just the "Hey, how are you?" conversations but the "What's really going on? How can I pray for you and truly encourage you right now?" conversations. Sometimes I feel like those conversations are few and far between anymore. I know God will provide opportunities for such discussions in time though. I have no doubt about that. In the meantime I feel like God is desiring me to be more still in his presence. To trust and rely on him more fully. To quiet my heart and my mind so that I am ready for his words to be spoken and so he may pour himself into me.
The song below is one of my favorites at the moment. You should go to YouTube and listen to it. :)
The More I Seek You-Kari Jobe
The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI_1YliutzA
I am so thankful that God has given us a friendship that allows our hearts to connect and understand the core of the other person. We never have to hold back or guard ourselves from the other. I truly believe everyone should have at least one person that they can be that way with. I love times when I can sit with friends and talk honestly about what's going on-not just the "Hey, how are you?" conversations but the "What's really going on? How can I pray for you and truly encourage you right now?" conversations. Sometimes I feel like those conversations are few and far between anymore. I know God will provide opportunities for such discussions in time though. I have no doubt about that. In the meantime I feel like God is desiring me to be more still in his presence. To trust and rely on him more fully. To quiet my heart and my mind so that I am ready for his words to be spoken and so he may pour himself into me.
The song below is one of my favorites at the moment. You should go to YouTube and listen to it. :)
The More I Seek You-Kari Jobe
The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI_1YliutzA
Sunday, January 10, 2010
This, That, and Other Ramblings
Life can be really hard. Sorry if I scared anyone with that last post. Sometimes ya just need to get stuff out. Posting about it helped a little. Taking it to God helped a whole lot more. Thanks to those that were praying for me. I know you're out there. :)
Some friends took me and Amy to a special spot at Fort Ebey yesterday. It was magnificent. At first everything was covered by fog but the longer we waited the more the fog lifted revealing waters of the Puget Sound, a rocky beach below us, and in the distance...mountains. Gorgeous. Breathtaking. Overwhelming. Awesome. Amazing. There aren't enough words to express the joy that filled my soul as I sat overlooking these sites that God has created. I pray that I never lose that sense of awe I feel when I look at the beauty surrounding me here.
Let's see, what else is new...I've been feeling very lightheaded off and on the past couple days. I just feel a little weird overall...like my body is about to wage war against me...It wouldn't be the first time. Hopefully it will be kind to me this time.
Amy is making me pancakes right now. I love her. I love living with her. I'm really thankful for her friendship and I like laughing with her a lot. Ok, ok...I like laughing with anyone a lot. :)
I'm having a really good hair day. I thought this was an important fact of my life that everyone should know. ;)
Tonight: The Pier! It will be good to see everyone again and have some fellowship time. I'm quite looking forward to it.
Some friends took me and Amy to a special spot at Fort Ebey yesterday. It was magnificent. At first everything was covered by fog but the longer we waited the more the fog lifted revealing waters of the Puget Sound, a rocky beach below us, and in the distance...mountains. Gorgeous. Breathtaking. Overwhelming. Awesome. Amazing. There aren't enough words to express the joy that filled my soul as I sat overlooking these sites that God has created. I pray that I never lose that sense of awe I feel when I look at the beauty surrounding me here.
Let's see, what else is new...I've been feeling very lightheaded off and on the past couple days. I just feel a little weird overall...like my body is about to wage war against me...It wouldn't be the first time. Hopefully it will be kind to me this time.
Amy is making me pancakes right now. I love her. I love living with her. I'm really thankful for her friendship and I like laughing with her a lot. Ok, ok...I like laughing with anyone a lot. :)
I'm having a really good hair day. I thought this was an important fact of my life that everyone should know. ;)
Tonight: The Pier! It will be good to see everyone again and have some fellowship time. I'm quite looking forward to it.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Not-So-Simple Facts
The job search has me feeling discouraged and frustrated.
I feel very alone most days. I have decided that it is one of the worst feelings in the world.
I miss a lot of people from my life in Indiana and the support those relationships always provided for me.
Old habits are hard to break. I fear that great disappointment in myself is coming.
I'm frightened.
I feel very alone most days. I have decided that it is one of the worst feelings in the world.
I miss a lot of people from my life in Indiana and the support those relationships always provided for me.
Old habits are hard to break. I fear that great disappointment in myself is coming.
I'm frightened.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Temporary Home
It’s been awhile since I wrote a real post. I hope you’ve thoroughly enjoyed my recent stories though! It seems like my life is either incredibly dull or much, much too exciting. Oh well…perhaps someday I’ll find a nice healthy balance of both. :)
The big news as of late is that someone has actually contacted me about a possible job. A few months ago I signed up to a website that helps hook families up with nannies. The site offers other opportunities to work with special needs, housesit, tutor, etc. I signed up to find either families who needed a nanny or families who needed assistance with special needs individuals. A couple days ago a lady sent me a message telling me that she is interested and would like to meet me. As exciting as it is to (finally) be contacted by someone I am having many mixed emotions. The job isn’t really consistent. Basically it’s a family wanting assistance while the husband is traveling for Navy responsibilities. Although these responsibilities take him out of town fairly often there is no way for me to know exactly how much I’ll actually get to work each month. The pay would be good but would it be enough to cover the various bills and loans I have to pay each month?
The uncertainties leave me with several thoughts and questions. If offered it am I supposed to take this job? Should I wait and see what else God might have for me? My current financial situation makes me feel like I would be crazy not to take the job if offered. At the same time I’ve been working on putting all my trust and faith in God and the fact that He will provide things for me in His timing so perhaps I should wait??
First and foremost I want to be following God’s will for my life-even if that means remaining in the waiting stage of the job hunt for a little bit longer.
It is comforting to remember that "This is my temporary home. It's not where I belong. Windows and rooms that I'm passing through. This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know this is my temporary home."
I would greatly appreciate your support and prayers as I continue on this crazy journey! :)
The big news as of late is that someone has actually contacted me about a possible job. A few months ago I signed up to a website that helps hook families up with nannies. The site offers other opportunities to work with special needs, housesit, tutor, etc. I signed up to find either families who needed a nanny or families who needed assistance with special needs individuals. A couple days ago a lady sent me a message telling me that she is interested and would like to meet me. As exciting as it is to (finally) be contacted by someone I am having many mixed emotions. The job isn’t really consistent. Basically it’s a family wanting assistance while the husband is traveling for Navy responsibilities. Although these responsibilities take him out of town fairly often there is no way for me to know exactly how much I’ll actually get to work each month. The pay would be good but would it be enough to cover the various bills and loans I have to pay each month?
The uncertainties leave me with several thoughts and questions. If offered it am I supposed to take this job? Should I wait and see what else God might have for me? My current financial situation makes me feel like I would be crazy not to take the job if offered. At the same time I’ve been working on putting all my trust and faith in God and the fact that He will provide things for me in His timing so perhaps I should wait??
First and foremost I want to be following God’s will for my life-even if that means remaining in the waiting stage of the job hunt for a little bit longer.
It is comforting to remember that "This is my temporary home. It's not where I belong. Windows and rooms that I'm passing through. This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know this is my temporary home."
I would greatly appreciate your support and prayers as I continue on this crazy journey! :)
Friday, January 1, 2010
The Smell
There is never a dull moment in our lives...haha!
One fine day there was a girl named Sara who had great expectations for the day, especially since it was New Year's Eve! As she descended the stairs she noticed a foul smell. The girl gave the smell little thought and headed out for a morning stroll at Ala Spit. (A local spot...very pretty. :) When she returned from her walk the girl entered the house and was bombarded by the foul smell once again. "Where is that smell coming from" she asked another girl, Mandy, in the house. No definitive answer could be given so Sara went about her business and began frantically cleaning the house for the New Year's Eve party she and her friend Amy had planned for that evening.
As the day progressed the strange smell became worse and worse until Matt, the owner of the home brought up the smell and asked if Sara knew what it was. While discussing the matter they both remembered a conversation Sara had had with a neighbor a few weeks previous about rats in the area. Sara also remembered that she and Amy had heard strange sounds coming from the fireplace. Coincidence? I think not! New Year's Eve is no time to go rat hunting so Matt promised to check into things the next day.
When Sara awoke in the morning she hoped and prayed the smell would magically be gone but to her great dismay the smell was not only still there but worse than the day before! Matt went under the house and found the spot where rats could get in yet found no real evidence of any rats down there. Sara, Amy, and Mandy were all disappointed that the source of the smell could still not be found.
The inhabitants of the house decided to go out for the evening and when they returned the smell was simply unbearable and they all began sniffing around the house trying to pinpoint the exact spot it was coming from. Finally, Matt closely investigated the fireplace and there it was! A dead rat that had broken into two pieces and that quickly filled the house with horrid, stomach-churning smells. Matt made quick work of removing the rat from the house and used bleach to clean the area and help with the smell. Oh how the women of the house rejoiced!!
With the opening of her eyes and the greeting of a new day Sara, and her housemates, will have the comfort of knowing that the air they breath is fresh and clean once again!
The End.
One fine day there was a girl named Sara who had great expectations for the day, especially since it was New Year's Eve! As she descended the stairs she noticed a foul smell. The girl gave the smell little thought and headed out for a morning stroll at Ala Spit. (A local spot...very pretty. :) When she returned from her walk the girl entered the house and was bombarded by the foul smell once again. "Where is that smell coming from" she asked another girl, Mandy, in the house. No definitive answer could be given so Sara went about her business and began frantically cleaning the house for the New Year's Eve party she and her friend Amy had planned for that evening.
As the day progressed the strange smell became worse and worse until Matt, the owner of the home brought up the smell and asked if Sara knew what it was. While discussing the matter they both remembered a conversation Sara had had with a neighbor a few weeks previous about rats in the area. Sara also remembered that she and Amy had heard strange sounds coming from the fireplace. Coincidence? I think not! New Year's Eve is no time to go rat hunting so Matt promised to check into things the next day.
When Sara awoke in the morning she hoped and prayed the smell would magically be gone but to her great dismay the smell was not only still there but worse than the day before! Matt went under the house and found the spot where rats could get in yet found no real evidence of any rats down there. Sara, Amy, and Mandy were all disappointed that the source of the smell could still not be found.
The inhabitants of the house decided to go out for the evening and when they returned the smell was simply unbearable and they all began sniffing around the house trying to pinpoint the exact spot it was coming from. Finally, Matt closely investigated the fireplace and there it was! A dead rat that had broken into two pieces and that quickly filled the house with horrid, stomach-churning smells. Matt made quick work of removing the rat from the house and used bleach to clean the area and help with the smell. Oh how the women of the house rejoiced!!
With the opening of her eyes and the greeting of a new day Sara, and her housemates, will have the comfort of knowing that the air they breath is fresh and clean once again!
The End.
"The Puzzle"
The real life tale of two women and their adventures. :)
Today, on the 19th day of December, in the year 2009 we found ourselves shipwrecked! Things looked grim for a moment...stranded as the darkness of night descended. Then, using out keen, womanly intellect...we called a man. Lo and behold! (Enter hero) Stephen the Brave vows to face the great unknown and rescue fair maidens!
Meanwhile, damsels now in no distress at all, and having way too much fun, enter Don's Pharmacy to prepare for the long night ahead with Amy's visiting Aunt Flo. While wandering aimlessly many trinkets, sights, and smells greeted our senses. Our favorite items can only be truly understood when experienced. However, every man should smell like the candles we bought and Sara can hardly wait for the day when her old lady face will bring joy and laughter to the world like the one on the card she found. After enjoying a lovely Mexican dinner, they took a not-so-moonlight stroll. Within a few short steps two dark figures emerged from the shadows and made their way closer towards us. Because our hero had not yet arrived, we made our way towards the warmth and light of the ferry station rather than moving closer to the sinister figures of the night.
Good books and Achmed the Dead Terrorist entertained us until Stephen the Brave arrived in his faithful chariot. He was greeted with smiles, hugs, and much rejoicing. The three journeyed onward through twisting roads, heavy fog, treacherous ferries, outrageous pop machines, and Amy's inability to text.
Finally at days end our friends welcomed us home and we said goodbye to our dear friend Justin, who's off to an adventure of his own. As fair maidens laid their heads upon their pillows they gave a contented sigh as they reflected on the unexpected joys of a "quick trip" to Port Townsend for yes, you guess it, a puzzle.
The End.
Written By: Sara Burris and Amy Malmkar
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Coming Soon To A Blog Near You*
"The Smell"
Today, on the 19th day of December, in the year 2009 we found ourselves shipwrecked! Things looked grim for a moment...stranded as the darkness of night descended. Then, using out keen, womanly intellect...we called a man. Lo and behold! (Enter hero) Stephen the Brave vows to face the great unknown and rescue fair maidens!
Meanwhile, damsels now in no distress at all, and having way too much fun, enter Don's Pharmacy to prepare for the long night ahead with Amy's visiting Aunt Flo. While wandering aimlessly many trinkets, sights, and smells greeted our senses. Our favorite items can only be truly understood when experienced. However, every man should smell like the candles we bought and Sara can hardly wait for the day when her old lady face will bring joy and laughter to the world like the one on the card she found. After enjoying a lovely Mexican dinner, they took a not-so-moonlight stroll. Within a few short steps two dark figures emerged from the shadows and made their way closer towards us. Because our hero had not yet arrived, we made our way towards the warmth and light of the ferry station rather than moving closer to the sinister figures of the night.
Good books and Achmed the Dead Terrorist entertained us until Stephen the Brave arrived in his faithful chariot. He was greeted with smiles, hugs, and much rejoicing. The three journeyed onward through twisting roads, heavy fog, treacherous ferries, outrageous pop machines, and Amy's inability to text.
Finally at days end our friends welcomed us home and we said goodbye to our dear friend Justin, who's off to an adventure of his own. As fair maidens laid their heads upon their pillows they gave a contented sigh as they reflected on the unexpected joys of a "quick trip" to Port Townsend for yes, you guess it, a puzzle.
The End.
Written By: Sara Burris and Amy Malmkar
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Coming Soon To A Blog Near You*
"The Smell"
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