For Amy

I'm posting a new blog...will you stop whining now?? haha

My life is just never that exciting and unlike some people I have trouble writing random posts about whatever happens to be flying through my brain at that particular moment. ;)

The big exciting thing is that I get to go home to Indiana in a week and a half!!!! I am greatly anticipating spending time with my family, my best friend, and all of my amazing friends from Bethel and OGBC! What a blessing it will be to reconnect with so many people. This will be my first long visit home so I'll be able to see a lot more people and do a lot more as well. I hate the plane trip out but the time I get to have is so sweet once I'm there! :)

Other than that I'm just plugging away at life. Working hard at the clinic, housesitting for a few people, helping with VBS, continuing to help lead worship at church, and trying to spend some time with friends when they're around! Celebrating the marriage of two good friends last weekend (who met at my house!!! ;) was an added blessing recently.

So basically my life continues to be crazy but overall pretty wonderful. I am trying to be continually faithful to my awesome God and always working on trusting and relying on Him more. (especially where my future is concerned--husband, kids, ect. Oh how the desires of our hearts can seperate us from the Lord if we let them!) Also trying to practice thankfulness-because there really is so very much to be thankful for!! :)

The Journey

I was cleaning and organizing my room the other day and came upon an old journal. I thought I'd share some of the interesting things I found, revealing so much of what the Lord did in bringing me to Washington.

August 20, 2009
There is a part of me-a part that seems to be growing-that wishes I had gone with Amy...I know that moving across the country right after graduation would have been almost impossible for me...what if a year passed though? What if I saved my money like crazy and moved next fall? The idea excites me. Perhaps I could visit Amy for a week during the summer and do some job hunting while I'm there. It sounds like a crazy plan-everyone will be against it, especially my parents. I have to laugh at myself a little...the plan itself would be completely out of character for me--can you imagine if I actually went through with it?! Definitely something to pray about.

August 31, 2009
Fall has always been my favorite season. I love the cooler temperatures without the threat of snow, the leaves changing colors, bonfires, football, hayrides, and all the other wonderful things that seem to come with fall. Fall=change....I'm ready.

September 1, 2009
Sometimes, more often recently, I feel like I need to move away, make new friends, start over. I just can't seem to shake the "stuck" feeling I have. It's like I can't move from the place I'm in because there's nowhere for me to go. Everywhere I turn there's another option, another path but I don't quite fit into any of them...I'm again left to ponder the question of where I belong. I know God created me for so much more than this...what must I do? Where must I go? How long must I wait for His revealing of my life? I feel so ready! I'm antsy and impatient, itching for what's to come...

September 22, 2009
I often wonder what would have happened if I had moved with Amy. I believe it would have been difficult financially but I also believe I could have really loved it.

September 30, 2009
Crazy things are happening! A huge opportunity for a life change has been thrust upon me. Now I must push my selfish desires and whimsical fantasies about what "could be" aside and listen for the voice of my Savior. Amy called me on Sunday and asked me to reconsider moving to Washington. She hasn't brought the idea up since 6 months ago when we had originally talked about it. I know I made the right decision then to stay. God has taught me a lot, provided a solid job experience, and now, has closed a lot of doors that were once open to me. I no longer feel that the things keeping me here are still relevant. I feel free from so many things, including the fear of making such a huge decision. I can't mess up God's plan for my life. I believe that I have followed His will up to this point...now I want to make the right decision once again. I went back through this journal and six times I solidly wrote of the feeling that there was a change coming for me and my life. Several of those times I specifically spoke of Amy and WA. This could be coincidence or it could be God gently nudging my heart the past several months to prepare for the decision I now have to make. I know this might sadden or even frustrate some people…I can only hope and pray that if I decide to go people will be happy for me and encourage me through words and prayer.

October 5, 2009
It’s official! I’m moving to WA. God has continuously been opening doors, like my parent’s selling me mom’s car, everyone I’ve talked to being completely supportive of my going, and Amy being able to get off work to travel with me. I should get to Oak Harbor by November 7th! I can hardly believe all of this is happening! I think it’s a really good sign that I still smile whenever I think about it.

November 9, 2009
We arrived in Oak Harbor on Saturday. It is beautiful here! I’m pretty sure I’m going to love it… :)

November 12, 2009
I don’t think I’ll ever get over the absolute beauty of this place. I am so thankful God brought me here and I can’t wait to see what He has in store for me!

Since those entries God really has done so much! He has surrounded me with amazing friends while teaching me it is Him I must rely on and put my trust in. He's given me an amazing job that I LOVE, continued to bless my friendship with Amy, healed relationships with my family and brought us to a place of true love and peace with one another, allowed me to worship Him in ways I never have before, and He’s still working and moving, molding me into the woman He wants me to be. I am continually amazed at His faithfulness and love!! Isn't it exciting to see where we were and where the Lord has us now?? The most exciting thing is wondering...WHAT'S COMING NEXT!!! (??) :)

Learning to Live in a Military Town

Before moving to Whidbey Island I never really thought about the military. Sure, I appreciated them....sort of. And I knew they and their families were making a huge sacrifice to defend our nation...I guess.

Now I seem to constantly think of our military. Daily I thank God for them and pray for them and their families. It's so strange to go from one extreme to the other. The military now has specific names and faces that I associate with it. So many wonderful friends in various branches all over the country and the world. These aren't just nameless people anymore. They are my friends. People I have come to love and care so deeply for. Sometimes I'm ashamed at how indifferent I used to feel about the military. They did their thing and I did mine...right? Ugh...they deserve so much more respect than that! I have the deepest respect for the men and women in our military now and am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to live in a place that has revealed this new truth to me and given me a love for people I never even used to think about.

I recently ran across a song called "This Is My Son" by Cherryholmes. In it she compares her son fighting for his country to God giving Jesus to fight the battle over our sin. She sings: "This is my son, my only son. I give him up for a people who don't care that they're free at the cost of his life. I understand now You're sacrifice. You gave us yours and I give them mine. Lord keep him safe he is my only child please bring him back home. This is my son." They're our sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, and friends. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty darn thankful for them all!!!

Check out the song at http://youtu.be/IUxFXmaJIgw

From Jerks to Jesus

I once heard a song where all it said was “ You’re a jerk! You’re a jerk! You’re a jerk!” over and over the line repeats. Oh how I wanted to sing that to someone yesterday. Horrible of me, I know.

Today I am more hurt than anything and somehow that always seems to feel worse than just being upset. I felt like I’d gone back about 5 or 6 years and I was questioning who I was, what I was doing with my life, and wondering if there wass anything about me that’s worthwhile or that could ever impact other people for Christ. Seriously? From one comment my mind goes all the way to that thought?? I don’t know if that shows the power of words of just makes me pathetic.

I know that I am a child of the King. I am precious and loved by my Savior and nothing else, no one else, can ever take that away from me. I find peace in that truth. I wish I could say that with the peace has come joy. Not yet. With the comment came the flooding of all the things I’ve been refusing to deal with. Difficult, stressful, emotional stuff that I have gotten away with not really addressing. Apparently one more thing on top of all the stuff I’ve been suppressing was enough to “break the dam” so to speak.

On the upside Easter is probably my favorite holiday. I love remembering and praising God for the sacrifice He made so that I could live and be freed from my sin. It’s overwhelming. It’s amazing. I love every moment of the weekend from the solemnity of Christ’s death to the celebration of His resurrection. What an honor and blessing it is for us as Christians to be able to spend time really focusing on His sacrifice and giving Him the praise that He is so deserving of.

So, all that written to ultimately say that life continues to throw curveballs which seem to smack me in the face most of the time, God takes those curveballs and uses them to teach me something new about Himself and who I am in Him, and I am looking forward to a Christ-centered weekend. (During which I anticipate excessive amounts of crying).

“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

Adventures

Amy and I went on a little trip this weekend and wrote a story about our adventures....enjoy the story and pictures! :)

Two friends packed up for a trip far away
Buying two decks of cards so they could play on the way.
They hopped on a bus, then a plane, then another.

One always slept, but never the other.
Arriving in 'Bama they greeted dear friends
Then stopped by the Walmart for a few odds and ends.
Amy "McSpeedy" went for a run.
But a mean dog's cruel bite made it no fun.
Rivers of tears flooded the streets.
As she yelled at the dogs "I am not meat!"
Later that day the friends all got pretty
And drove to a wedding in a big hurry.
The dazzling bride walked down the aisle
And greeted the groom with a big, loving smile.
We made no attempt to conceal our tears
For we love our Miriah and will for all years.

The garter was tossed and the bouquet was thrown
Then it was time for us all to go home.
Sleeping late gave us much needed rest
Then Lindsay made yummy "eggs in a nest"
Off to Jim and Nicks BBQ we we went
None of us caring how much we spent.
Stuffed to the brim we headed outside
For a day in the gardens with games by our side.
The glorious sunshine and warmth on our face
Suddenly made Alabama the most magical place!

Several hours later we headed for home
Where Amy and Sara took a walk all alone.
Dinner was served, every plate was wiped clean
We admired the moon while making ice cream
The hour got late, we all went to bed
But Amy and Sara talked all night instead.
Morning came quickly at 5 we arose
Our time in Alabama had come to a close.
Back to the airport Blake drove us with care
Saying goodbye just didn't seem fair.

We rushed to our plane thinking we were quite late
To find masses of people still at our gate.
A mechanical problem put us behind
So Amy got breakfast, paying Sara no mind.
The plane finally came and Dallas was great
but now we're headed to Seattle and we can hardley wait.
Travel is fun and never a bore
We'll do it again when we're not so dang poor!

The End!

Have you ever seen the movie Anastasia?

You know, the animated one with the cute little bat named Bartok? Well throughout the whole movie the villain, Rasputin, is trying to destroy Anastasia. At one point he messes with her mind and enters her dream. I feel like that’s what’s been happening to me the past couple nights. Not that Rasputin has been appearing in my dreams, but that someone, something is messing with me. It’s frightening and frustrating. It leaves me exhausted and confused. It attempts to consume me all day. I can’t seem to shake the uneasiness it all makes me feel. This sort of thing has happened to me before… nightmares that leave me shaken...but these have been different. These have been violent, angry, destructive, hateful, scary.

Anyway...besides having disturbing dreams, things are actually going pretty well. Work is wonderful and busy, the Pier seems to be growing both in numbers and in maturity, I have begun meeting with a prayer partner which is a huge blessing and really exciting, and I’m still singing on the church worship team and loving it! God has definitely been good to me as this new year has begun and I know He will conquer the battle my mind seems to be in.

I will leave you with Psalm 62:5-8 which has been a comfort to me today.

“Find rest my soul in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”