Saying goodbye is a strange sort of thing...

When I think about all the goodbyes I will be saying over the next couple weeks there is sadness but not enough to get me down or make me dwell on it for very long. The strange part comes in after the goodbye is said and I am walking/driving away from that person. It is then that the floodgates open; as if my mind does not actually comprehend what my words and actions mean until they are completely done and over with. How strange a feeling...I suppose I am so baffled by this because it has never been this way for me before. Those who know me well know that I tend to 'wear my heart on my sleeve' and I just don't hide emotion well. I feel almost cold and cruel in the midst of my goodbyes because I seem unable to cry and I even feel...happy? Excited? Simply ready for the whole goodbye process to be over? Yes, happy feelings are indeed what I typically feel...at that moment. Then I walk away and begin my cry-fest thinking about how much better I would have felt if I could have cried with the person I was saying goodbye to who now thinks it doesn't bother me at all to be leaving them.

*Sigh*...does this all sound completely nonsensical...or worse, cold-hearted and cruel? I HATE saying goodbye to the many, many people I love and whom I won't be seeing again until...well, just until.

There is nothing about my decision to move that I regret. I hope I haven't given that impression. There's just something about saying goodbye...so please, when I'm saying my goodbye to you, know that I love you and I will miss you terribly. Also know that just because I don't cry in front of you doesn't mean I'm not crying as I walk away.

Peace Overflowing

I am so overwhelmed by God's grace and provision the past few weeks. He has granted me with such a peace about this decision and I feel like a weight I've been carrying around for months is gone. He has been preparing me for this and I believe I am transitioning from one season of life into another. That's always scary because there is no way to know what to expect but overall I am just excited about the journey and what God plans to teach me through it.

I can't think of anyone I'd rather grow and learn with than Amy, who seems to be my "soul mate" friend. In just four years we have come to know each other so well and our relationship has been such a blessing and source of honesty, trust, and strength for both of us. Who would've thought that two random girls, from two random places would be assigned to room together their freshman year and come out of the whole experience as best friends. God really does work in mysterious ways... :)

The Purpose

Xanga seems to be out of date these days so I thought I would catch up with the times and start a newer blog. This is where I shall captivate you with exciting tales of my life (especially as I make the big move from Indiana to Washington!), my struggles, my victories, new friendships, old friendships, how God is moving, and so much more! But right now I need to get ready for youth group because I am LATE! :)