There is a certain joy that fills my heart when I get the privilege of spending an evening with other Christians and when that time spent together is focused on Christ and what He has done in each of our lives. Tonight I went to a family's house from my church who participate in a ministry outreach for individuals living on the island that are involved in the military. It's kind of a home-away-from-home kind of feeling. Warm, intimate, wonderful. :) It began with all of us sitting down and enjoying dinner together. We then sat and talked a little about the ministry overall and then we went around the room and each of us gave a brief testimony of our lives and what has brought us to this point. This time of sharing refreshed me in a sense. I was quite pleased that the other people shared openly and honestly about their lives and hence, I felt completely comfortable to share my own story as well.
Thinking back I can't even recall the last time I was with a group of people and we were all sharing our testimonies. This is something I love doing with people. What better way to get to know a person than by hearing what God has done in and through them throughout their lives?? This was especially meaningful to me tonight because I'm so new and overall I feel like I don't really know anyone. (which I know is how it goes...I just hate feeling that way even though I know relationships take time to build. ) Hearing people's testimonies and talking with them afterwords made me feel...more part of things. More connected. I like that.
As we were all walking to our vehicles one of the guys that was there gave me a hug goodbye and said he was really glad that am here and part of their group. Such a small gesture-such a huge deal to me-and it's not the first time someone from this general grouping of people has shown me acceptance. The new girl-wanted, liked, fitting in. So many fears beginning to melt away as small gestures are starting to make the lies that Satan has been planting in my head since I arrived here disappear. The words "you are not enough. You will never be enough. You will never fit in." have been tossing around in my head for days. It's horrible. It's hard to ignore. It's a weak point for me in general. And to be completely honest it was really starting to bring me down. Thankfully God really is a good, mighty, and loving Father who cares about how we feel and what goes on in our lives. He continually brings these little blessings...a hug from a new friend, a dinner invitation from people I've never met, a plate of cookies and brownies left on my porch by a couple from the church I went to on Sunday, a late-night stroll and conversation with Amy.
So many good things...what reason do I have to doubt that I am loved? That He created me for a specific purpose and He has given me gifts and abilities to accomplish that purpose in His time and according to His will. That no matter how inadequate, frightened, or insecure I may feel, the truth remains-I AM ENOUGH. :)