I recently bought the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. I have read this book once before but as I've begun round two of reading it I've realized that I've grown so much yet I still feel so far away from the person I long to be....from the woman I long to be.
The most recent chapter I read was called A Beauty to Unveil. "Me? A beauty to unveil?? I wish it were true..." is what immediately went through my head. Hmm...perhaps I still have some work to do on my self-image. :/
As I continued reading I stumbled upon the section below and it made my heart cry out. "Me! I want this to be me! Lord, mold me into the kind of woman they are describing!"
"A woman whose heart is at rest invites others to rest...You find room for your soul. It expands. You can breathe again. You can rest. It is good. That is what it is like to be with a beautiful woman. You are free to be you. It is one of life's greatest gifts...She says to the world, through her invitation to relationship, You are wanted here. We want to know you. Come in. Share yourself. Be enjoyed. Enjoy me as I share myself...A woman who is unveiling her beauty is inviting others to life. She risks being vulnerable: exposing her true heart and inviting others to share theirs. She is not demanding, but she is hopeful."
Satan made quick work of reminding me that I've never really been that woman in the past so how could I ever become her now...but this time I'm fighting back. I will not give in to the doubts and fears. I have learned that I am strong in the Lord. I have no reason to worry or fear what lies ahead.
Since moving out here I have had to basically live outside my comfort zone...no tiny steps out for a while then jumping back in for me. It has been a constant effort to make myself available to people and situations here and quite frankly I've been doing great! (anyone who knows me well knows how difficult stepping out of my comfort zone is for me) My desire now is to go deeper with the people I've met. I want to know them-personally, intimately-and I want them to know me the same way. I want to "unveil my beauty and invite them in." That is my prayer. That I would not hold back any part of me. That I would become open and available to share my heartwith anyone who would like to experience it.
Lord, help me remember that you delight in revealing yourself to those who wholeheartedly seek you. That you want to be known and explored and that I, having been made beautiful and captivating in your image, have something to reveal to the world as well.