A lot is going on in this head of mine...most of it's a downer...you've been warned.
Boys make me mad...and happy...and confused...and a lot of other complicated emotions. I hate having a girly brain that takes me to places it shouldn't because of one statement or wayward glance. Why do guy/girl relationships seem to always be so complicated in one way or another?
I wish I could skip Christmas. I can't get over the feeling that Christmas is going to be positively awful this year for a variety of reasons that I would feel horrible for stating.
I miss structure and knowing what life was going to look like from day to day. I'm all for random moments of adventure and excitement but a whole life worth is too much for me. I can feel myself falling apart under it all.
Even when you feel like it's difficult to fit into your own family you find out it's a cakewalk compared to fitting into someone else's.
I've cried a lot today. Bad timing since our house is full of people. I can't seem to make it stop though. God give me strength and help me pull it together for the sake of those around me and to prevent more awkwardness.
Words can really hurt. I wish people would think about that before they opened their mouths.
In general, I just feel really sad and lonely today.
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