Learning to Live in a Military Town

Before moving to Whidbey Island I never really thought about the military. Sure, I appreciated them....sort of. And I knew they and their families were making a huge sacrifice to defend our nation...I guess.

Now I seem to constantly think of our military. Daily I thank God for them and pray for them and their families. It's so strange to go from one extreme to the other. The military now has specific names and faces that I associate with it. So many wonderful friends in various branches all over the country and the world. These aren't just nameless people anymore. They are my friends. People I have come to love and care so deeply for. Sometimes I'm ashamed at how indifferent I used to feel about the military. They did their thing and I did mine...right? Ugh...they deserve so much more respect than that! I have the deepest respect for the men and women in our military now and am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to live in a place that has revealed this new truth to me and given me a love for people I never even used to think about.

I recently ran across a song called "This Is My Son" by Cherryholmes. In it she compares her son fighting for his country to God giving Jesus to fight the battle over our sin. She sings: "This is my son, my only son. I give him up for a people who don't care that they're free at the cost of his life. I understand now You're sacrifice. You gave us yours and I give them mine. Lord keep him safe he is my only child please bring him back home. This is my son." They're our sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, and friends. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty darn thankful for them all!!!

Check out the song at http://youtu.be/IUxFXmaJIgw

From Jerks to Jesus

I once heard a song where all it said was “ You’re a jerk! You’re a jerk! You’re a jerk!” over and over the line repeats. Oh how I wanted to sing that to someone yesterday. Horrible of me, I know.

Today I am more hurt than anything and somehow that always seems to feel worse than just being upset. I felt like I’d gone back about 5 or 6 years and I was questioning who I was, what I was doing with my life, and wondering if there wass anything about me that’s worthwhile or that could ever impact other people for Christ. Seriously? From one comment my mind goes all the way to that thought?? I don’t know if that shows the power of words of just makes me pathetic.

I know that I am a child of the King. I am precious and loved by my Savior and nothing else, no one else, can ever take that away from me. I find peace in that truth. I wish I could say that with the peace has come joy. Not yet. With the comment came the flooding of all the things I’ve been refusing to deal with. Difficult, stressful, emotional stuff that I have gotten away with not really addressing. Apparently one more thing on top of all the stuff I’ve been suppressing was enough to “break the dam” so to speak.

On the upside Easter is probably my favorite holiday. I love remembering and praising God for the sacrifice He made so that I could live and be freed from my sin. It’s overwhelming. It’s amazing. I love every moment of the weekend from the solemnity of Christ’s death to the celebration of His resurrection. What an honor and blessing it is for us as Christians to be able to spend time really focusing on His sacrifice and giving Him the praise that He is so deserving of.

So, all that written to ultimately say that life continues to throw curveballs which seem to smack me in the face most of the time, God takes those curveballs and uses them to teach me something new about Himself and who I am in Him, and I am looking forward to a Christ-centered weekend. (During which I anticipate excessive amounts of crying).

“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

Adventures

Amy and I went on a little trip this weekend and wrote a story about our adventures....enjoy the story and pictures! :)

Two friends packed up for a trip far away
Buying two decks of cards so they could play on the way.
They hopped on a bus, then a plane, then another.

One always slept, but never the other.
Arriving in 'Bama they greeted dear friends
Then stopped by the Walmart for a few odds and ends.
Amy "McSpeedy" went for a run.
But a mean dog's cruel bite made it no fun.
Rivers of tears flooded the streets.
As she yelled at the dogs "I am not meat!"
Later that day the friends all got pretty
And drove to a wedding in a big hurry.
The dazzling bride walked down the aisle
And greeted the groom with a big, loving smile.
We made no attempt to conceal our tears
For we love our Miriah and will for all years.

The garter was tossed and the bouquet was thrown
Then it was time for us all to go home.
Sleeping late gave us much needed rest
Then Lindsay made yummy "eggs in a nest"
Off to Jim and Nicks BBQ we we went
None of us caring how much we spent.
Stuffed to the brim we headed outside
For a day in the gardens with games by our side.
The glorious sunshine and warmth on our face
Suddenly made Alabama the most magical place!

Several hours later we headed for home
Where Amy and Sara took a walk all alone.
Dinner was served, every plate was wiped clean
We admired the moon while making ice cream
The hour got late, we all went to bed
But Amy and Sara talked all night instead.
Morning came quickly at 5 we arose
Our time in Alabama had come to a close.
Back to the airport Blake drove us with care
Saying goodbye just didn't seem fair.

We rushed to our plane thinking we were quite late
To find masses of people still at our gate.
A mechanical problem put us behind
So Amy got breakfast, paying Sara no mind.
The plane finally came and Dallas was great
but now we're headed to Seattle and we can hardley wait.
Travel is fun and never a bore
We'll do it again when we're not so dang poor!

The End!

Have you ever seen the movie Anastasia?

You know, the animated one with the cute little bat named Bartok? Well throughout the whole movie the villain, Rasputin, is trying to destroy Anastasia. At one point he messes with her mind and enters her dream. I feel like that’s what’s been happening to me the past couple nights. Not that Rasputin has been appearing in my dreams, but that someone, something is messing with me. It’s frightening and frustrating. It leaves me exhausted and confused. It attempts to consume me all day. I can’t seem to shake the uneasiness it all makes me feel. This sort of thing has happened to me before… nightmares that leave me shaken...but these have been different. These have been violent, angry, destructive, hateful, scary.

Anyway...besides having disturbing dreams, things are actually going pretty well. Work is wonderful and busy, the Pier seems to be growing both in numbers and in maturity, I have begun meeting with a prayer partner which is a huge blessing and really exciting, and I’m still singing on the church worship team and loving it! God has definitely been good to me as this new year has begun and I know He will conquer the battle my mind seems to be in.

I will leave you with Psalm 62:5-8 which has been a comfort to me today.

“Find rest my soul in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”

Some things are so difficult to live with. The hurting that is felt for a friend is one of the worst I think. Desperately wishing you could help them somehow. Wanting so badly to save them...sometimes from themselves.

It's not our job though is it? We get so caught up sometimes in what we can do. How we can fix a situation when in reality it all has very little to do with us, if anything at all. There is only One who can truly save and He is mightier than all of us put together. It can be hard to let those we love go. To give them over to a power that we can't see or touch right in front of us...we simply know He is there. We simply trust that He will move and speak at the most perfect moment, in the most perfect way. I am deeply comforted by that fact tonight.

"I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the LORD's praise because he has been good to me." -Psalm 13:5-6

I have no doubt that He will continue to pour our His unfailing love...despite our struggles, despite our wanderings, despite our sinfulness. He has been and will be so, so good.

So tonight, I give you this hurt Lord, this worry, and anxiousness. Take it from me and replace it with Your peace. Thank you for your goodness and mercy. I love you.

Amazing Grace

Last night was The Pregnancy Care Clinic's Dessert Banquet. This is a huge fundraiser for us and there was a lot of work and stress that went into. God is awesome as always though and the whole evening was perfect!

Our speaker got to town right on time, the desserts were delicious, the decorations perfect, the songs were smooth (with the exception of a minor error on the sound person's part that didn't really affect the song...thank goodness! lol), and a little over $8,500 was raised to help support the ministry!! It was such a blessing to spend an evening recapping all that God has been doing at the PCC and all we are expecting in the future! There were so many people there to support us and overall it was just a really fun night!

My favorite part was singing Amazing Grace-My Chains Are Gone with the whole group at the very end of the evening. There is something very special about a group of people lifting their voices in worship and adoration to our Savior that brings me such joy and overwhelms my heart!

I am again reminded of what an honor and pleasure it is to work in a Christian organization surrounded by so many sisters and brothers in Christ.

I have lived in Washington for exactly one year now. There have been so many fantastic moments throughout the year. Some moments that have been really difficult as well. One truth remains though, God is in control. He has stretched me and shown me His love for me in more ways then I could have ever imagined. I am so thankful and I can't wait to see what He has for me in the year ahead!

Hello Again

To those of you who actually check to see if I've written, my deepest apologies for failing to provide anything for you! I've considered updating on several different occasions yet for one reason or another it just hasn't happened. I figured it was time though.

I have been working at my new job at the Pregnancy Care Clinic for 3 or 4 months now and I LOVE it!! I have definitely been stretched and challenged through this job but it's been so good for me and I feel like I've grown a lot. It's a lot of pressure to be "the boss" and be looked to for direction and answers. We get some very sad life stories about people facing difficulties I could never imagine going through. It's such an honor that Christ has put me in a position where I can help them, show them a Love like no other, and provide encouragement and hope in sometimes hopeless looking situations.

Other than working I've been staying involved in the Navigators Bible Study, the church worship team and choir, and our young adult small group. I've also been getting up at 5:30 to exercise at Curves each morning...go ahead, be impressed! haha! I really am enjoying it and I feel so much better throughout the day knowing I got up and accomplished something that morning that's so good for me! All of these things keep me pretty busy but life is still good.

In a month I get to travel back to IN to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone and being "home".

The difficulty of friends moving away, being on deployments, or away at school has been one of my greatest struggles these past several months. I love Amy, I love my co-workers, and I love my church family but there's just something about having those people around you who are in the same age group and stage of life that you are. It's a special thing. I've definitely been missing it and praying that God would bring me contentment in the midst of it. I know in time He will bring new people into my life that can fill that special place as others have before.

Though it can be hard to wait, I know the outcome will be so sweet and perfect in His timing so, I will spend my days singing alleluia to Yahweh.